Life After Inner Awakening


Exactly a year ago I enrolled in a 21 day meditation program called Inner Awakening. The program took place in Bangalore India at an Adheenam (a combination of monastery, school, and Temple) and was directed by a Guru named Paramahamsa Nithyananda. The program was an intense mix of emotions, and made me face many incompletions which then led me to understand more about myself, my purpose in life, and my connection to God and others. The following is a recap of what has changed in my life since attending the program.

A Wrinkle In Time: Why I enrolled

At the time I was 33 years old, unhappy, cynical, and tired of my own BS. I had been interested in spirituality, mysticism, the occult, and Eastern cultures, and religions since I was a kid. I grew up feeling like an outcast with a big void inside. I didn’t resonate with or care for my Catholic upbringing. This led me to seek, practice, and read up on different paths for many years.


In 2014 I heard about the Inner Awakening program trough a YouTube personality named Sudevi (now known as Ma Nithya Swaroopapriyananda). In her videos, Sudevi would constantly talk about her Guru “Swamiji” Paramahamsa Nithyananda, and how the Inner Awakening program had changed her life. I really resonated with her teachings, and I started watching Swamiji’s videos and reading his books. A year later, I started contemplating the idea of attending the program but the duration, distance, and price tag scared the crap out of me. I was living paycheck to paycheck and paying off credit card debt. At work I had only about two weeks worth of vacation time available. I thought that there was no way I could make it happen, there were just too many obstacles, and also deep down I felt like I was not going to fit in.

Throughout the year 2015 I was walking a fine line between between spirituality and self-destruction. One day I was blissful and fulfilled then the next depressed and powerless. I finally hit rock bottom. I was a confused mess.  All the years of seeking and being my own guide were taking me no where. I felt that I needed a teacher that could guide and help me take serious action towards transforming myself. I made the decision to attend Inner Awakening. I applied for a loan, booked my flight, and mustered up the courage to tell my boss I was going to the program no matter what. To my surprise, the universe rewarded my boldness. The money was easily manifested, and my boss not only approved a personal leave for the 21 days for the program, but also for an additional two weeks that I used to vacation in India. The program began on February 3rd, 2016.


Enjoying discourse at the outdoors temple with Swamiji.


Graduation Day
Outside my dorm room ready to start the day.


What Has Changed Since Inner Awakening?

  • I became sober. My last drink was a double vodka and orange juice on the plane on my way to India. Before IA I was drinking at least 4-5 days a week. I used alcohol as a reward and a coping mechanism. Drinking had become a habit and it was bringing out a really nasty and violent side of me. On the last day of the program I asked Swamiji to help me eliminate any cravings and the need for alcohol. I stopped cold turkey and have had no cravings or thoughts about alcohol. I am now in a space where I don’t need a metaphorical band-aid or a crutch. I can deal with anything that comes my way. Socially, I no longer need alcohol to take off the edge of my social phobia and awkwardness. I’ve learned how to say no, and be happy alone at home doing productive things.
  • Started my own Blog and YouTube Channel. What I experienced at Inner Awakening and what I have learned from Swamiji’s teachings has been life changing. Too much to keep to myself. I decided to go public about my spiritual life as a way to share and enrich others. This was challenging because I am not tech savvy. Also, I am fiercely protective of my privacy, and do not like to talk about my feelings. However, stepping out of my shell and overcoming social ego has been a huge confidence booster and also has made me feel deeply connected to my guru and the community.
  • Manifested wealth and abundance! Yes, money came easily and quickly. Immediately after returning from India I experienced several “miracles” and some of those were with money. I got two raises, a bonus, large tax refunds, monetary gifts, and one way or another money just manifested exactly when I needed it. This has led me to change my cognition about money and my relationship with it.
  • Started my own business. It is amazing how life has given me so much and how Swamiji and various synchronizities made it possible for me to take a leap into entrepreneurship. Earlier in this article I mentioned that I met Swamiji trough a fellow devotee named Sudevi. At the time, Sudevi had her own jewelry store, and I was one of her repeat customers. We developed a very nice friendship, and in September of 2016 she announced that she was selling her business to dedicate full-time to Swamiji’s mission and live in India. I jumped at the opportunity and bought the business. I had never in my life made a piece of jewelry, and I felt I was a terrible sales person. However, my trust in the divine, and the confidence I had developed trough completion and applying Swamiji’s teachings made me feel powerful. I decided to go for it! I opened my own online jewelry store on Etsy the following month and started making my own designs. My creativity has skyrocketed! Here’s the link to my shop
  • Mended my relationships with my self and others. During IA one of the most important aspects of the program is “Completion” with ourself and others. We were instructed on how to relive and relieve all pain, powerlessness, and traumas from our past and present. The last step of this process was to call up as many people as possible and complete. This helped me heal my relationship with my family, friends, and my husband. My transformation was so notable that my husband decided to attend Inner Awakening as well.
  • Went on a 21 day liquid diet and overcame negative patterns with food and body image. My relationship with food was pretty much the same as the one with alcohol. I was an emotional eater and believed that there was no way I could function without solid food. Completing the Nirahara Samyama process was amazing! My confidence skyrocketed and I learned to love, respect and appreciate my body. Read this article for details about it: Nirahara Samyama – Life Beyond Food 

As I begin a new year, I realize that I am changing very quickly. My spiritual growth has accelerated hundredfold! All of the changes, miracles, and my transformation are a result of will persistence, dedication, practice, completion, and a strong connection to my Guru. I wrote this article in gratitude and appreciation for everything I have experienced. My life has been an incredible journey so far, and I am sharing my experiences with the intention to inspire and encourage others to thrive, to grow, and to expand their consciousness.

For more information about Inner Awakening visit 
Watch Swamiji’s videos and discourses at his YouTube channel: Life Bliss Foundation


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